I've been told I'm a great salad maker. It's a weird thing to be proud of, but damn am I proud of it. If there's one that gets a bad rap it's salads. I think the American food system has made people associate salads with sad iceberg lettuce, pieces or purple cabbage and mushy tomatoes doused in ranch or Thousand Island dressing.
Sad, indeed.
Read MoreI really hate mayo. Like, I just hate it so much. Actually, most squidgy, gelatinous, off-white substances freak me out. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "that's what she said" after a statement like this, I wouldn't be rich because inflation is REAL, but I would have a pretty hefty chunk of change.
What would I do with said hefty chunk of change? I'm not sure, but I can tell you what I wouldn't do: BUY MAYO.
I just don't get it. Why ruin a perfectly delicious sandwich with a slathering of this sad, strange substance? My freshman year of college some friends and I did a late-night Jimmy John's delivery when we were all totally sober and my veggie delight sandwich had been smeared with mayo by mistake. Veggie delight my ass. I gave it to a friend who ate it gleefully, while I slumped on the couch and rued the day mayo was ever created.
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