While cooking, listen to this:

PS: This is Rina's dad! Check out his bandcamp page here.

I really hate mayo. Like, I just hate it so much. Actually, most squidgy, gelatinous, off-white substances freak me out. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "that's what she said" after a statement like this, I wouldn't be rich because inflation is REAL, but I would have a pretty hefty chunk of change.

What would I do with said hefty chunk of change? I'm not sure, but I can tell you what I wouldn't do: BUY MAYO.

I just don't get it. Why ruin a perfectly delicious sandwich with a slathering of this sad, strange substance? My freshman year of college some friends and I did a late-night Jimmy John's delivery when we were all totally sober and my veggie delight sandwich had been smeared with mayo by mistake. Veggie delight my ass. I gave it to a friend who ate it gleefully, while I slumped on the couch and rued the day mayo was ever created.

My distrust and pure, unadulterated hatred of mayo has made me hate many things by association; coleslaw is probably at the top of the list, or at least the top three. This is sad, though, because coleslaw has some lovely components that get drowned in a sea of sadness. "Free me!" I imagine the cabbage saying. "Why have you done this to me? I have a family!" it pleads.

I'm here to save you, sad mayo cabbage! Behold, the Crunchy Noodle Slaw.

This slaw is a mix of a recipe from Gimme Some Oven and a recipe from my mom that's actually from, weirdly, the cookbook of my dad's synagogue. I don't know - your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, this slaw is packed with shredded cabbage, corn, edamame, green onions, slivered almonds and crunchy ramen noodles, and is dressed up all fancy-like with a killer honey vinaigrette. All of these ingredients come together to create a light, refreshing side that won't give you nightmares. Hopefully. And because this is a no-cook recipe, it comes together extremely quickly, and is perfect for the final balmy days of summer.

Do you have any serious food aversions? Let me know in the comments. I know I'm not the only one who hates mayo! Right?

Love and meows, Rina

CRUNCHY NOODLE SLAW + HONEY VINAIGRETTE

Yield: 6-8 servings

Cook Time: 5-10m

Category: Sides, Vegan, No-Cook

Source: adapted from Gimme Some Oven

Ingredients

slaw:

1 bag shredded cabbage/.coleslaw mix (16 oz.)

2 3-oz. packages ramen noodles, crumbled*

1 cup shelled edamame

1 cup corn

½ cup slivered almonds

½ sliced green onion

vinaigrette:

½ cup oil of choice (ex. avocado or olive)

¼ cup honey (or sweetener of choice)

¼ cup rice vinegar

2 teaspoons soy sauce

¼ teaspoon toasted sesame oil

1-2 teaspoons sesame seeds

Salt and black pepper, to taste

*You can get ramen noodles that don't come with a seasoning packet, but if you can only find the packages that are meant to be turned into soup, no worries - just toss the seasoning packet or use it in another recipe.

Instructions

Prepare the slaw: combine the cabbage/coleslaw mix, crumbled ramen noodles, edamame, corn, almonds, green onion in a large serving bowl.

Prepare the vinaigrette: in a jar/dressing container, combine the oil, honey, rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, sesame seeds, salt and pepper. Shake well.

To serve: dress the salad directly before you plan on eating.

To keep: this salad is optimal on its first day - after sitting in the fridge, the noodles will lose that delightful crunch. To make in advance, just add the slaw components to a large plastic-zipper bag, leaving the noodles out, and keep the dressing in its container. Just put all together when it's ready to be eaten.